October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and this subject is very close to my heart. Many people are fortunate to have never been exposed to abuse and it might be hard to understand what goes through the minds of victims and why they can't just "get out". Books help to paint the picture so that the reader can understand that often these situations happen in a similar fashion to the age old story about the frog in hot water - raising the temperature little by little so slowly that the frog doesn't think to get out, not recognizing that the situation is life threatening until it's too late.
For me, my extremely abusive relationship went on for several years in my late teens. Like many other abused women, I tried to leave more than once. But then I'd find myself sucked back in.
My abuse took shape in many forms - verbal, mental, physical and more.
At my core, I knew I deserved better, but he had trained me to feel less than myself.
When I made the last escape, I was constantly watching over my shoulder for several months. Even as I moved on with life, I always wondered if he'd come back after me to make good on his promise that "if he couldn't have me, no one would." But then one day it was all over and my fears were gone as he could no longer chase me.
With a violent and traumatic past like mine, you might think that books that have domestic abuse would be triggering.
In some cases, that is true. But more often than not, I can step back and see pieces of my life reflected in the work that I've conquered and it reminds me not to be complacent. I want to keep my eyes open for people around me who might be silently crying out for help.
Literature that touches on this delicate subject has the potential to educate others about the feelings and thoughts that women go through during their experiences, creating potential empathy. If written well, it has the ability to show readers how easily people can fall into the trap to be undermined and abused by the people that they love.
Additionally, I love that many of these works showcase strong friendships and good men. That positive aspect helps to to strike a balance so that the books aren't all negative, but more a window into some realistic situations. The books I mention below showcase strong female characters overcoming their situations against all odds.
General Fiction Books with Strong Female Characters:
Not That I Could Tell by Jessica Strawser puts an emphasis on the bond and friendships formed by several strong female characters that are neighbors. She's an Ohio native (my home state!) and the storyline takes place in a locale close to me, making it such a fun read. Even if you aren't familiar with Ohio, Jessica's writing allows you to envision the setting and the local flair.
There are six main female characters representing a wide variety of grown women from a single lady, to a married mother, to a gay couple. This group of ladies set up a firepit where their backyards converge and settle in for a night of wine, gossip, and life discussions.
All is going well until the next day when one of the ladies is missing. I can't say much more than that without giving away plotlines, however, the ending did lead to a great book club discussion about what extremes each of us would go to for a friend in need.
Jessica Strawser also has a brand new book out called The Last Caretaker that talks about a secret network that works to help women. See my review on YouTube! 4.5 stars rounded up.
Katie's loveless marriage has just ended and she's looking for a fresh start when her best friend, Bess, offers her exactly that. Bess manages a nature center in Cincinnati and the last caretaker just resigned unexpectedly. The position comes with it's own small house on the nature center and sounds like the perfect opportunity to take a chance on something new.
However, Katie can't stop thinking about the bizarre circumstance that the last caretaker must have left because her belongings are still there and it doesn't feel like she packed any of her items.
It doesn't help any when an unannounced visitor arrives in the middle of the night and rings the bell three times. Katie reluctantly lets her in and discovers she's put herself in the middle of a secret network.
What was the last caretaker really up to? And where is she now?
Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks takes a bit of a turn from his standard chick lit. This book has romance and mystery and is a bit darker than other works. It will have your heart racing with adrenaline spikes specifically in the last 20% of the book as emotions are high and action is at full throttle.
Katie arrives to a Southport, North Carolina intent to be an independent woman, with no real desire to grow any connections in town. That, of course, is not possible as she becomes close with her neighbor, Jo and one of the townsmen. Alex is a widow and owns the local store where his two adorable children are often found roaming / helping out.
She's been hiding a secret past and she's got to decide what she's willing to share with others as the relationships develop.
Under Currents by Nora Roberts will have you holding on to your seat for one heck of a wild ride. Nora developed the characters very well, intertwining plot lines. I found it to be an extremely realistic portrayal of how domestic violence can carry through a lifetime. You'll want tissues near you as this isn't a light read, but Nora is very good at intermingling some positivity, showing successful relationships, strong community and family themes.
Told in three parts with two different timelines, we first meet Zane during his childhood. In the picture perfect family, Zane and his sister suffered abuse at the hands of their father who is the chief of surgery at the local hospital. Reading about childhood abuse in any form is difficult, so be aware of this trigger warning.
Fast forward to the adult years when Zane has moved back to open a law office. Darby has also moved to town looking for a fresh start after her mother died and her marriage to an abusive man ended. The two start a slow romance and all seems well until their history threatened to upend it all. As the title indicates, there are under currents of tension always running just under the surface.
It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover is a widely popular book. Some have called it a Romance, but I'm reluctant to do so. While it does have undertones of several romances, it covers so much more and does have a fairly dark side so don't go in expecting unicorns and rainbows.
Lily is a successful young woman who meets a handsome neurosurgeon, Ryle, and they have a whirlwind romance. Life is good. Until one day when she's had a bit to drink and makes a comment that sets the rollercoaster in motion.
We also get a glimpse of Lily's life as a teenager with her first romantic interest, Atlas. He's been out of the picture for several years, but has popped up during this new chaotic time.
This is a must read for every female. People often naively think that abuse is related to poverty or education and this book demonstrates how that is not the case.
Be sure to read the Dedication and the Author's Note at the end for an eye opening detail about the book and how Colleen came up with the idea for this book. And if you enjoy it, continue reading the second book, "It Starts With Us" for closure and a happy ending.
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons by Lorna Landvik is another book that showcases wonderful female friendships that span several decades. The five main characters in this book have been friends for over forty years after a simple book club brought them together as neighbors (I love that!!!)
These ladies get together for laughter, book discussions, and to live life together and they've all got distinctly different personalities that make the group a riot. When they realize that Merit has been lying to cover up the abuse from her husband, the ladies take matters into their own hands.
This book is a very light read with these women supporting each other through so many key moments in life. The bond between them started as a shared interest and grew to be so much more. This book is actually what prompted me to form my own book club! It's been almost four years for our group and I can honestly say that the friendships that have formed by meeting monthly to talk about books (and life) is something that I absolutely cherish :)
Thrillers with Strong Female Characters:
Last Girl Ghosted by Lisa Unger is a book kept my interest through the entire story. 4.5 🌟
It starts with a Prologue that has a young adult, Mia, heading off to meet her new boyfriend but she's had to follow some very odd instructions with a plan to "leave the toxic modern world behind for a while". An outsider would see these instructions as unusual, with red flags waving, but love renders people blind.
Then it flips to the story of Wren. She's been through a lot in her life, and her friend has encouraged her to get back into dating. She turns to the Torch app and eventually meets Adam. That date turns into dating, but three months later she's stood up the night after bearing her biggest secret. Ghosted.
Wanting answers, Wren starts digging. She finds out she may not have been the only one approached by this man, but the other women are all missing. Just like he is now.
Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris is a gripping thriller that my book club read several months ago with a unanimous 5🌟 rating among the group. There will be a character in this book that you will absolutely loathe, but you'll enjoy several crazy plot twists in the last third of the book. Jack and Grace appear to be the perfect couple when they host their events. She makes perfect dishes and loves her disabled younger sister. He has the power job and charm to go with it.
But what happens behind those doors when the guests leave? Grace hardly ever goes out of her house anymore and she's getting so thin. Is it love or isolation?
Conclusion
I hope that you have a chance to read all about these strong female characters! Let me know in the comments below if you've read any of them and what your thoughts are - I'd love to get your feedback :) I'm always looking for more recommendations, too, so let me know if there is a book I should read! I may even feature it in an upcoming post!
If any of these books resonate with you because you or someone you know is in a harmful situation, know that there is help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233 and there are shelters in every city.
There are lots of great men out in the world, but sometimes you find yourself in a relationship that seems to be heading south. Perhaps it's not abusive, but you aren't happy. Know your self worth. If you are questioning your situation, take a look at this great advice from a close friend: Decoding Your Heart: How to Know When to Breakup.
In the meantime, I wish love and happiness (and a huge bookshelf of fabulous books) to all of you!
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More recommendations!!!
Please check out my other blogs such as Powerful Benefits of Reading for Pleasure, or dive directly into genre specific book recommendations with Psychological Thrillers - Professional Twist to touch on your thrillers; or if you are interested in romantic comedies, check out Faking Love, Finding Laughter: Exploring the Enchanting World of Fake Dating Tropes in RomComs, or learn about the past with Historical Fiction Favorites.
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